We are all in the business of selling something no matter what business we are in – even if we aren’t in business at all! From our friendships to our relationships, marriages, children and right across to the boardrooms of global conglomerates – that is what we do – we sell. The only difference that separates us is what our products are.

When meeting a potential new friend, mate or walking into a job interview, we are selling. We are selling ourselves. As Rob Brown said in his Ted Talk, ‘The Personal Brand of You’we all want people to pay us three things, the first being attention, the second respect and the third, money or commitment and all three of those apply to every single relationship we enter, personal or professional.

As a business owner, our product changes but the fact that we are sales people doesn’t. Instead of selling ourselves to gain companionship, employment or a promotion, we shift to selling our company and our brand to gain investment, market share and human resources. From a venture capitalist to a new frontline employee, we sell. We sell our products, our culture, our vision to gain their attention, their respect and their money or loyalty. The theme, the process runs true throughout everything we have done and everything we will do.

So how do we do it?

Well that depends on what exactly our goals are. Are we looking for transactional sales or long term loyalty? Transactional sales are easy – we do whatever we have to to make the deal. Buy the expensive dinner for a one night stand, offer discounts or incentives for the new car or ignore the nasty remarks from the in-laws across the table just to keep the peace at Thanksgiving. Transactions are easy – they are one time only. No deep investment in time, energy and emotion because we know that once something better, cheaper, easier comes along, the relationship ends. We get the exact ROI we expect and if not expect, at least deserve.

But what if we want a long term lasting and more meaningful relationship? How exactly do we do that? Well for starters we follow the advice of Simon Sinek and Start with our ‘Why’. In his Ted Talk, ‘How great Leaders Inspire Action’ tells us that people don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it and if we want them to invest in us via their time, affection, energy, loyalty or money – we need to focus not on the what (transaction) but on the why (relationship).

Anyone can make a sale. We can do whatever it takes to close a single deal – but are we willing to invest the time, energy and vulnerability into understanding our motivations and learning to express the to others in order to forgo a single transaction to build a long-term loyal and mutually beneficial relationship?

That is the question and only you can answer it. Are you willing to forgo the easy sale and invest in the relationship? If people don’t buy what you do but why you do it – do you know your why?

~ Michelle Budiwski

October 15, 2021